Earthquake

00:58 As I lay on my sofa watching TV, I heard a distant rumble when all of a sudden my house started shaking, my lamp shades were swaying, the water in the fish tank was sloshing and things started to fall of the shelfs.

I didn't know what the F**k was going on. Now I know it was an earthquake.

The earthquake registered in at 4.7 on the richter scale.

UPDATE: I now know the earthquake registered in at 5.2 and not 4.7 as previously posted, I did get this number at 01:15 when it was first aired on Sky News

Having A Go At The Drunks

It just seems to have been one of those weeks when all I had to deal with was drunk people.

Well on Sunday after watching the mighty Tottenham Hotspurs blow away Chelsea 2-1 I just happened to become as bad as my punters.

I was in the pub by 2:30 and from then on it was just alcohol fuel to keep me going. I was drinking for at least 8 hours and came out almost £50 lighter in the pocket.
Then the journey back to mothers commenced, it's strange to think that when I left mums that afternoon it took only 40 minutes max.
The journey home on the other hand took me over two hours (bloody alcohol)

I walked to Chalk Farm and jumped onto a via Bank service with all intents and purpose to travel three stops to Kings Cross, I opened my eyes at the next station and saw the sign OVAL.

F**K!!!!!!! how the hell did I miss Kings Cross by seven stops

I jumped off the train and onto northbound service.

You guessed F**K I'm now at Euston, after traipsing all over the station I jumped on a southbound service and stood for all of one stop.

As I boarded the First Capital Connect service to Palmers Green I had to wait around 15 minutes for the train home, once more my eyes closed and off to sleep I went again.

The train juddered to a halt and my eyes flew open, bollox where was I, what station is this, oh shit have I done it again, Bowes Park, phew only one stop to go before Palmers Green, that was lucky.

I finally made it home at 12:45, what a great journey under the influence of alcohol that was.

Annual Leave Again

Yet more annual leave I hear you wonder.

Yes and no, yes I'm on leave but this is my first week of my 2008 leave, so only another nine weeks left.

I will be back in some of my old Chalk Farm stomping grounds tomorrow as I'm staying in London and will be drifting over to one of my old locals, the Prince of Wales pub in NW5.

I'm looking forward to meeting up with some of my old mates, especially one who I have known since 1971, enjoying a good few beers flowing and hopefully seeing Spurs beat Chelski and lift the Carling Cup final.

Oh well here's hoping.

That's Weightest

I just happened to be hanging around the gate line this evening chatting with the CSA, we happened to over hear a converstation some drunken sot was having on his mobile phone.

Sot "Yeah I'm at the station and I'll be at Portabella Road in two minutes" now considering where I work is six stations from Ladbroke Grove I think he might be just slightly lost.

Sot "Yeah ok I'll ask the fat bloke on the gate line" this had me turning to my CSA and him turning to me with the same amused look on his face, you know the one that says any help we might have given you has just flown out of the front door.

Sot "Yeah don't worry I'll be there in two"

As he walked out of the station I turned to my colleague, who looked at me, now if you know me I'm just over 6` 2" and weigh in about 18 stone, my CSA is just over 6` 3" and weighs in about 19 stone.

Me "How much do you weigh?"

CSA "Around 19 stone, why?"

Me "He must mean you then".

The drunken sot walks back into the station and asks "Oi do you know Portabella Road is?"

Both of us "No".

What A View

As I travelled into London this evening, I was sitting nicely reading my book when all of a sudden a young woman in a seat facing me but not ten feet from me decided to go to the toilet.

As she got up, all she was wearing was what I can only be described as two tiny pieces of cloth the size of your average flannel covering both the front and the back with two strands of hair each side holding it together.

Now for the shock (or joy), as she stood up to get out of the seating, I got a full view of a pair of white french knickers and a full view of what can only be called gusset.

To say I have come to work with a smile on my face is an understatement.

Ah nights do sometimes have there perks, plus the bottle of wine she had polished of probably helped too.

I know your thinking PERV but you tell me any man who wouldn't be smiling to himself after a journey like this.

Why Is It ???

Whenever we have a CTS (gate line mechanics) engineer service any of the ticket handling machines on our station, the very next day something breaks if not shortly afterwards. From ticket office to gate line, something goes wrong

Any member of staff who reads this will think yeah that's true, if the engineer services the ticket issuing machine in the ticket office the next day one of them will fail.

My own station has had the gate line serviced overnight and so far four machines out of eight have failed this week with one requiring new parts.

I wonder if they are being broken on purpose, hmmm.

Bouncy, Bouncy

This week it seems to have been a week full of drunks to deal with.

My late turn colleague was getting in on the act and had to deal with a collapsed drunk in the middle of the ticket hall who was eventually led away ok arrested by the British Transport Police.

However during my own shift I spotted two very inebriated soles on my westbound platform, my first encounter was watching one particular man doing the drunk seat shuffle as he calmly tried and failed to take a seat on one of the benches, it was a case of shall I sit here, nope my legs wont bend, ok I'll sit here instead, nope that doesn't want to work either, third time lucky, nope these legs just don't want to bend so I'll just walk along the platform a bit more and hang on to this stationary platform sign, few, ahh here's my train, time to go home.

The second encounter was a bit more serious, a young lady who was having a lot of trouble standing and focusing was being lead with a lot of difficulty by her partner onto the platform, I noticed this couple as he was a man of slight build whilst she was a bit rotund, ok portly.
As he held the young lady up she lost her balance and crashed into the panels outside my office so I made myself know and asked if she was ok and could he cope, "Yep I think so and how do I get to Waterloo" he replies.

Luckily the next train to Baker Street is a Met service so he wont have to drag this bladdered young lady all over Baker Street station to the Jubilee line. The train pulls into the platform and as they start off to board the train "Crash" whoops that's the side of the train dear not the door way.

The slight and harangued young man finally gets her safely on board and as the doors closed I see the sight of the bladdered young woman sliding out of view as her face is pressed against the door window and being distorted as she leaves a trail a snail would have been proud of.

Ah drunken people are such fun, I'm just glad I wont have their heads in the morning.

Catching The 5:40 Drunk To Nowhere

I couldn't believe the start to my day, my CSA called me up via the station radio telling me he has a man at the gate line who wont leave the station.

As I wandered upstairs to the gate line, I approach the man in question and the first thing I noticed was the stench of alcohol, then the hanging onto the big paddles that form the gate entrance and the slightly glazed eyes.

He keeps trying his ticket in the machine and with a confused look wonders why the gate wont open, the reason is simple, it's a bus pass, I begin to wonder how much has this man been drinking.

I explain that his bus pass wont work on the tube as it's for buses and not trains.

"Where do I buy a ticket?" he asks.

"Nowhere" I replied.

"Why not?" he slurs back at me.

"Because I don't think it will be safe to allow you to travel so you will have to make your way via the buses" Says I.

He then pulls himself up to his full height which doesn't quite reach my shoulder and looks me straight in the chin and says ....

"OK"

Then he leaves nice and pleasantly of his own accord.

Now that's a good way to start a Friday morning.

More Jehovah Witlesses Yet Again

What is it about nights that has these buggers knocking on my door, today once more my door bell rang and I thought that's strange it normally chimes.

JW "Hello could we interest you in a clock tower and will we be allowed to stand on your doorstep and preach to you about our faith and how pointless it is"

Me "I'm sorry but I'm agnostic dyslexic imsomniac and I lay in bed all day just thinking about dog"

Bye Bye little Jehovah people. Don't get me wrong I really love these pests as it gives me someone to vent my spline at (The joy of living alone you know).

I think I might just get a sign that tells them to bugger off and leave my door bell alone or even cheaper just turn the door bell off. I wonder if I could some how rig up my door bell to give out electric shocks.

Before you wonder about my own faith, I'm Roman Catholic and have been all my life, and as I have had that drummed into me since I was a kid so I don't like or need these lay preachers trying to tell me about the big fella upstairs.

How Different Staff Behave When Promoted.

Tonight I was thinking about this post again and how I'm regarded by my own manager, when I remembered something that happened a good few years back when I was working on the Northern Line.

I was at the Ivory Towers, sorry head office, strolling along the one of the many corridors when I came face to face with one of my old Group Station Managers from the Northern line, the thing that comes to mind is the way he behaved.

He was walking along with some other senior managers, and when he made eye contact he looked everywhere else but at me, as if he was ashamed to admit that he knew me from his time on the stations, him now being a senior manager up in the ivory towers and me being a lowly SS.

Strange to think I first knew this so called manager when he was an eager Foreman who handed in 2p as lost property, and later he became my Group Station Manager, the best part of the meeting up though was yet to come, one of the other senoir managers, and I'm talking a Line Business Manager here, remembered me from my time on the Northern Line and stopped to say hello and actually shake hands and talk about old times, much to the embarrassment of my old GSM when asked if he rememebred me.

It's strange how promotion goes to some peoples heads on this job, just remember that no matter how high you climb, in the end you're just a number same as me.

First Confrontation Of The Week

I wasn't back at work for five minutes when I had my first arguement of the week, I noticed a man sneak into an alcove which leads into a corridor from the platform.

Unknown to the passenger I sneaked out the back door of my office and noticed a trickle of fluid seeping under the door and into the corridor.

I opened the door to find the man urinating against the wall, which was causing his piss to flow under the door.

I greeted the punter in a certain way

Me "Ahh good evening Mr Pin-dick, are you having fun tonight sir?."

Him in a total caught and embarrassed situation way "Er Em Um Der Hmmm."

Me "Here's a mop for you to use, now have fun cleaning up the mess you made."

After he finishes mopping up his mess.

Me "You'll find the stairs leading out of the station are that way, so goodbye and please use the bus service outside the station."

Him "You can't do that!"

Me "Wanna bet, now goodbye."

Him "But I have an annual season ticket."

Me "Can I see your ticket please sir?"

Him "Why?"

Me "Well you have two choices, you can either go and get the bus now or I take your ticket away and you still get a bus, but this time you pay for the journey."

I smile nicely and he realises that I'm telling the truth.

Don't you just love those first nights back after annual leave.

Hi My Name's John

I wasn't to sure whether to blog this or not but after almost three years of blogging and trying to decide weather to stay anonymous or not, it seems some of my readers (including my boss) already know who I am and where I am.

So here goes.

As you know I'm a Station Supervisor however a few new details about me.

My name's John (that's me above) and I work at a lovely little station called Great Portland Street

So now you know what I look like and where I work, but please don't just turn up and expect to be greeted as an old friend as I sometimes have work to do.

What A Difference

Isn't it strange how different relationships work out, take my last one, she was a nice woman but kept to many secrets about things, her work (I never found out where), her friends and was even secretive about me to her family. I knew about somethings but not all, the worse thing about the secrecy was I started becoming secretive too, and that's just not me.

We dated for five months and during that time I had my 40th and guess what I didn't even get a card. That should have told me how selfish my last woman was. Don't get me wrong not all things about the relationship were bad there where good points, but mainly the relationship was on her terms.

However as I said the other week, I've now moved on and I'm with someone else and yesterday after being together for only three weeks she bought me a lovely card and this little present.

Strange how things work out, and before you ask I did send my new partner (I'm not using girlfriend as I'm just to old for that) a lovely bunch of flowers.
It's nice to be in a two sided relationship.

A Nice Few Days

I've just spent a wonderful five days with my kids, all went really well apart from a slight glitch with my eldest daughter who was bullying her brother on Tuesday.

Why do kids never see it as bullying when it's them that's doing the bullying and the person they are bullying is a sibling.

When I come to explaining things and I get pissed off, I'm quite a blunt person and that goes with my kids as well, so my eldest got a serious tongue lashing and told in no uncertain terms how disgusted I was.

She then proceeded to sulk for the next 10 hours.

My other two however were on great form and today I got hit with the usual statement by my son, do I have to go back to mums, now that hits the heart.

Tonight I'm off to the other halfs for a nice romantic dinner and hopefully a pleasent evening.

Cheers Boss

I read this today and thought oh bugger am I in trouble, but it seems to have turned out ok.

I'm Officially Scared

I had a text from a friend of mine today, she has finally past her driving test after the seventh attempted, as she lives not to far away from me, I think my car will be parked up and I shall be walking from now on as it will be much safer.

At least her husband can get a rest from being the handy taxi service.

Well done Tracey and congratulations.

We're Not The Only Ones Affected

I've blogged before about One Unders (person under a train) and how LUL staff have a tendency to use humour and a differnt temprament when it comes to dealing with them.

However I came across another One Under related item written on a blog that I read and it was strange to read how it makes somebody else feel and this being the second one I've heard about in three days.

The Station Supervisor Uncovered

I've been contemplating coming out from being a faceless LUL blogger so here I am.
Seriously though, today was one my sisters 47th birthday so we had a nice little lunch to wish her a happy birthday, so as all my family are in one way or another completely mad, my eldest sister bought this as her cake.

I must say it was lovely to eat.

Thanks Doobrie

I really must thank Doobrie for the picture of the new Chaise he might be buying, god only knows what he was really looking for.

How To Get An Advert Wrong

I found this flyer at work which is advertising for Direct Recruit Drivers, however when I looked at the way it was taken a few thoughts popped into my head

1) Why aren't the passengers running away.

2) How the hell did the train get up on the platform.

3) Since when does a passenger smile when a train arrives.

4) Whats Richard Madeley doing on an Underground flyer

5) Nice Boots.

6) Why is the driver about to bash the woman in the head with the handset.

7) Why is the platform repeater attached to the dot matrix.

8) Why aren't the first two people standing behind the yellow line.

9) Did someone scrub the rails as they are the cleanest I've ever seen.

10) And finally how comes my own station doesn't look that clean.

However if you fancy being employed as a Train Driver for London Underground they are now recruiting directly and with a wage income above £38,000 I just wonder how many will apply.

If you feel like applying click here

Now That's What I Call A Hazard

And no this wasn't found on an Underground station.

More Jehovah Witlesses

I've just had a blazing row with a Jehovah Witness, I don't normally get worked up by these people as they are trying to push a religion that has no baring on me and as a Catolic I have my own religious views.

However today I became very pissed off when my door bell sounded and I opened the door to a 13/14 year old kid trying to hand me a religious flyer with his grinning dad standing behind him.

After explaining about my own religious views I then asked his father why his son wasn't at school and is he going to get a choice in being able to choose which way he wants to celebrate his faith instead of doorstep hopping, I know your thinking what's it got to do with me but I see it as he has got his son to do the initial presentation as most adults wont slam the door in the face of a kid and the son should have a choice.

What is it about parents like this that get me mad, the fact that they are probably the first people to complain about the world in general and about the school systems yet they don't send there own kids on a school day and also they choose to pummel there children with there own religious views.

I feel sorry for the son as when I grew up, I had the Catholic religion drummed into me by my very Irish mother and in my own way I rebelled against it, so I'm hoping this boy sees the light so to speak and goes his own way when it finally hits home that religion isn't everything it's made out to be.

A Sick Sense Of Humour

Unfortunately people who know me will know how I see a funny side of most situations, I even saw a funny situation when my dad died that had both my sister and me laughing until my sides hurt and there were tears of mirth in my eyes.

However yesterday as I was at the local dump throwing a load of crap into the skips when something happened that had me chortling away to myself when I was just about to leave.

I sat in my car when a minibus pulled up beside me with around 10 or 12 adults with learning difficulties on board (I think you might see where this is going).

As I looked at the bus I had an image of a skip full of these adults trying to climb out of the skip and me thinking awww thats a bit harsh but an evil way of getting away with it.

I know this image is a bit harsh but that's the way my head thinks.

So Annual Leave Once More

Another nice two weeks off and then back for five shifts before I start my 2008 leave.

I think that who ever worked out the leave periods didn't put to much thinking into it.

Last year I was on annual leave period 5 and this year I have period 1, you would havd thought somebody up high would have spotted that.

Be Afraid ... Be Very Arfaid

I found this link today as I was looking up references to the train crash yesterday

http://www.raib.gov.uk/publications/current_investigations_register.cfm

It's all to do with notifiable incidents that happen around the UK rail networks.

A Nasty Rumour

I arrived at work this morning to find a memo from a DSM about a rumour that when refurbishment work starts at one of the stations on my group will not be having a ticket office built this coming year.

Does this mean that the old ticket office will be still in use, does this mean that when the station refurbishment is complete the station in question just wont have one at all.

So it seems another station may well be losing its booking office altogether, exactly like Regents Park.

Well I suppose that's one way to cut manning levels.